Thursday, July 10, 2014
Don't you just love how the movies and stories portray love. Wheeeeee so wonderful. No problems ever. No one upset because someone looked at the wrong person the wrong way. No one upset because someone didn't take out the garbage or forgot to buy them flowers. No one perturbed (is that how you spell it?) because they disagreed about politics or which TV show to watch or which restaurant to go to for dinner, or why you didn’t bring me a glass of water when you got one for yourself. Ah yes, love~ Now explain to me what you think love is. Yes, what you think love is and why it is or isn’t working for you. What I have found from speaking with hundreds of people is that most of us have this ‘rose colored glasses’ view of love. Most people I speak with are angry at having failed at love and if you look at the cover of my book, The Twenty available on Amazon, the word love is crossed out and written again above it to signify how we have all been wrong in love before. And most of us are so stubborn that when we talk about how to love we say things like, ‘why do I have to change’, ‘why can’t someone love me just as I am’, or ‘I won’t change who I am for someone else’. What I do find oddly funny about those statements is that we are all in a constant state of change no matter how small or insignificant those changes might appear to be. The greatest change people need to make in their quest to find love is in the way in which we communicate. I always recommend two books, of course my book, The Twenty for single people but I talk about the most significant book I have ever read on relationships, one that I teach on in my seminars and that is, The Five love Languages by Gary Chapman. That book should be read by everyone because once you learn what your partners Love Language is and they learn yours it should be an easier task to offer and give them what makes them feel loved and that alone is a HUGE overcoming in any relationship. You make your partner feel loved and they can and probably will forgive most of your shortcomings as you will theirs. That feeling of being loved is such a rare feeling that most of us will give ourselves willing to that partner who once we love them and they make us feel that loved, well, the rest should be history. And therein lays the truth of communication. How we communicate, not just with our words, or our vocal tones, or our body language but with our hearts, souls and minds in offering them the truth, the proving our love by how we give them their love language, how we make them feel loved is the entire key to making your love, the love of your life and living ‘happily ever after’. I hope you do. I have.