Thursday, December 6, 2012

Love.. the rest of life is easy

   I love it when people say 'love shouldn't be this hard'. When what they really mean is, my relationship is not working.
   For some strange reason we think that as a human being we should know all about love and relationships.  That is really the furthest thing from the truth. When someone is struggling with their relationship and I ask them... are you talking to anyone who can help? I mean of course.. someone who knows and understands relationships. Most people say not really. Most people, especially men, say they know how to be in love, they know how to make relationships work.. they know.
   The truth is, none of us know. I love when I get the question, if you are not married or in a successful relationship, how can you help others?
   It's like my math teacher growing up... he never had any challenges learning or understanding math. He could just grasp it all. He even said to me, Mr. Sapato, math is easy.
   And it was for that reason he was a terrible teacher to those of us who didn't understand math! He couldn't help us because he didn't understand why we couldn't understand what to him, seemed so simple.
   I share that with everyone... I have had more business failures and successes than most people even dream about. The same is true in relationships... if you haven't had to struggle through situations, if you haven't ever dealt with different personalities, problems, questions... if you haven't ever failed how can you empathise or understand someone who is? It is why I can tell you.. don't do that! Don't even think about that! And I can also share that, some things we will never understand. Some people we will never understand, and, some people will never understand us.
   I want people to know that very few of us truly understand 'love'. Oh we talk about it at times, see it in the movies, laugh and cry when we are involved in it but, in reality.. when I share what love, real love is.. most people want to argue with me, disagree, look for the reasons why what I say is not true... and yet...
   when I talk to people who have successfully kept love.. and in this sense I am talking about partner love, love where they are 'in love', happy, welcoming and invitingly in love, like when most of us start a relationship love... those people almost completely agree with my definition of love. That tells me that I am on the right track. When the people who are and have been for years and even decades successful at it share what love is and tell me all about it... I understand better what real love is and means.
   What I have found is most of us are completely willing to change, adapt, grow in our lives to learn new things. We are all open to learning new skills for our job, for our hobby, for a new hobby, even for a new relationship but we are not open to learning and growing when it's something we think we already know, like love.
   What I have found is, when you take a gold lesson, singing lesson, learn how to do excel spreadsheets that life gets easier. When you know how to do your job better because you are open to growing in the knowledge it takes to make it easier the job is easier. When you learn the skills it takes to be better at your hobby it makes the hobby more appealing and you participate in it more often.
   Therefore I struggle with the facts that people, men and women, don't routinely participate in seminars and events that share ideas and insights into how to make your love life, relationship, easier.
   Without the proper tools to make something work, to keep it running smoothly with regular tune-ups, to complete and participate in routine maintenance, most things we do will not function smoothly or even continuously without breaking down.
  If I asked you to drive your car until it broke down and then you could get it fixed, what would you say to me? Something like.. are you nuts? No! Why wait until it breaks down? That would create all kinds of other problems! No, Steve, do the routine maintenance and upgrades and it should run smoothly for you all the time.
   And yet, if I ask you to participate in a LOVE workshop most of you would say, I don't have the time, it's too far, it costs too much....
   So you see, compared to the rest of your life, the parts where you understand how to make it all work, your life is very easy when compared with love. Your daily tasks, jobs, hobbies are so very easy when compared with love.
   Now I go back to the title of this article...  when compared with LOVE, the rest of your life is easy.

Have an amazing 2013 and rediscover the reasons you go to work. I hope one of them is ... love. and his newsletter Love Letters are part of Steve Sapato Promotions and should be copied in their entirety with credit and links included.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

This one is for me!




You have heard the phrase “This one is for you!” murmured and shouted many times by many people. Rocky shouted the now infamous phrase, “Yo Adrian! I did it!” In many movies and in all kinds of books, we have read or heard the phrase uttered, ‘I’m going to win this one for…’ and then they name that person. In literature we have often related to someone saying something like, ‘and when I do this, then THEY will notice me!’
What all of these people are saying is that they needed motivation from someone else to help them make their dreams come true or to accomplish something that they deemed important.

How about you? Do you need some outside motivation to make your dreams come true? Do you need someone out there to be proud of you in order to put your best foot forward? Do you need someone to stand behind you and root for you in order to make something happen in your life?
Sometimes we all do. Sometimes we need that little extra push to get us going. Sometimes we need someone to believe in us so that we can believe in ourselves again.

CH. 2
Not Any More-

If that was true in your past then we are going to create a new you. We are going to create a YOU that is all that you have ever wanted in you. We are going to create a you that is becoming all that you have ever dreamed of being.
I want you to think, right now, about all of the things you TRULY want in your life.
I want you to KNOW that you are now becoming the person that can accomplish everything you have ever wanted to accomplish.
I want you to know – that you can have, do, be, or become everything you have ever dreamed of.
And I want you to stop right now and understand that we are creating a brand new possibility thinking you that is amazing and I want you to say this out loud …

Stop… did you do it? Or did you just think about doing it?

What if I told you, that by doing this one thing it would make all of your dreams come true? Would you do it now?
I just said, we are creating… did you understand that? We are creating a brand new you who will accomplish so much more than the old you. But in that CREATING it requires you to extend yourself, to become more than you were, to do things outside of your old self and your old comfort zone.
Do you get that?
Now lets’ try that again… out loud… verbally…


If you do this then YOU know you are growing already. If you cannot do this… you might as well put this book aside right now because we are creating a new you and you need to extend yourself way beyond where you were.

You are reading this book and buying courses and investing in yourself because you want more out of life. You are looking for that special secret that will change your circumstances. That secret is changing the you that you are, into the you that will bring you to all of your dreams.

You don’t live life as it is, you life life as you are. –Les Brown

CH. 3


Author and speaker Kevin Bracy’s motto is “Brace Yourself” and that is what I want you to do as you read this chapter. Brace yourself for a new you. Brace yourself for major changes coming your way. Brace yourself so that you will be open to what you will need to do, what you must do, what you should do in order to make this change a reality for your life.
And now I want you to know that you motto is simple. This motto will change your life. This motto is designed to make your dreams come true. Now say it, internalize it, make it your reality because it’s truth. Say this –
Say it every day, ten times a day, one hundred times a day until you understand that everything you do is for YOU!
When you are confused, uncertain, lost, afraid, take on this personal responsibility to make your life better by saying.. I can do this because THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
When you start to think, I can’t do this, ask yourself every time, if this is for me, what do I really want?

Have you asked yourself this before? Have you ever set down and asked yourself, ‘what do I really want?’
You are reading this because you want to know, can you learn something from this that will teach you how to get something that you currently do not have. Will this teach me something I do not already know so that I can have, do, be or become something that I really want.
So of course, our first question becomes, do you know what you want to have, do, be or become?

CH. 4

A Goal-

Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile dream or goal. – Steve Sapato

You see, very few of us understand our need to set goals in order to achieve great results.
Would you like to be happier, healthier, have better relationships and or make more money than you are today?
Did you answer yes to any one or maybe even all of those?
What would you be willing to do that will lead to all of the results you are wanting?

Authors and speakers Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Mark McCormick and yes, me, Steve Sapato all use a Harvard Study that was conducted between 1979 and 1989. The graduates of the Harvard MBA program were asked how many of them had clear written goals and had made a plan to accomplish them.
Only three percent (3%) of the graduates had written goals and plans. Thirteen percent (13%) had goals but not in writing, eighty four percent (84%) had no specific goals other than graduating and enjoying their summer.
Ten years later those same people were interviewed and it was found that the thirteen percent (13%) who had goals that were not written down were earning, on average, twice as much as the eighty four percent (84%) who had no goals. But most surprising is that they found that the three percent (3%) who had clear written goals were earning, on average, ten times (10X) as much as the other ninety seven percent (97%) combined!
They also learned that the three percent (3%) were, on average, happier, healthier and had experienced longer lasting relationships.
I ask you again, would you like to be happier, healthier, have better relationships and/or make more money than you are today? Are you willing to take the steps that will help you accomplish that?

CH. 5
Stopping the Don’ts

How are you living your life right now? Because what I am about to tell you WILL change your life.
Are you pro-active or are you re-active? You are reading this because you want life to be better. How much are you willing to do to make that happen?
We all understand self-talk. Well, let me clarify, if you are reading this you have a basic knowledge about self talk. How your own self talk can help you or hinder you. How your success comes from your image of yourself. And of course, how much money you have is reflected in how you think about money.
I will make this much simpler. Stop saying No and Don’t!
Right now, I don’t want you to think of an elephant!
The first thing you thought of was an elephant. If you are REALLY good, your immediate thought process replaced the image of an elephant with something else… a rabbit, a cheetah, whatever it is you might be thinking of right now. BUT… the first thing you thought of was… ta-da! An elephant. But why? My statement was, DON’T think of an elephant.
And you wonder why you can’t lose weight. Sheesh!

Our self talk has never been self Taught! Why is it when we go on diets, weight loss programs that most of us have cravings for many of the things we CAN’T have?
The reason is when I go on a diet I keep telling myself all of the things I cannot have. Maybe not talking out loud but certainly my inner self-talk is all about “ if you are going to lose weight you can’t have ice cream!” Or you can’t have apple pie or baked potatoes or …
We fill our minds with what we CAN’T have. And when we tell our minds Don’t, Can’t, Not our minds do not comprehend those words.
Don’t think of an elephant made you think of an elephant therefore don’t have apple pie makes you want apple pie. You can’t have ice cream makes your mind crave ice cream. All your mind hears are the words… apple pie or ice cream.
So what do you do about it? You have to reprogram yourself to replace the undesirable with the desired result.
A recent commercial was good at this. They were talking about weight loss and were saying, you want to see yourself as slim, attractive and healthy… and they didn’t push, you want to lose weight? Shave off the inches? Get rid of those ugly pounds?
Now we have to help you figure out what you really want and how you need to word your requests in order to achieve it.
As we talk about success we have already discussed how your success is started by you writing down your goals. Change your goals in your mind, on your paper, in your self talk.
Instead of writing I am going to lose twenty pounds, write down what you will weigh when you are where you want to be. That means, when I am starting my NEW ME program, I won’t write down I am going to lose 20 lbs, but that I weigh 215 lbs and I am so proud of myself when I look in the mirror every morning.
Many of us write down our goals like we are sacrificing to achieve them.
When we were young we said “one day I hope I will be able to save $10,000 a year” and all of the statistics say that the average American has less than $10,000 saved by age 50! So that plan obviously isn’t working. Why not change your thinking, now you can say “I save $10 per day and put it into my wealth plan.”
Now let’s find out what you really want and what you are willing to work toward?

Go find a tablet right now and start writing down your wants and needs for the next ten years.
I said go NOW! Come back when you have at least twenty things you want to have, do, be or become written down on your paper!

CH. 6
This One Is For Me

I hope you did that because THAT is what this chapter is all about. You achieving your dreams and your happiness. Your new you.
If you did that incredibly important step then you are on your way to your incredible journey. You will find that your list will grow as you find out that doing this helped you to achieve your “bucket list”. And you will discover that you have opened up your imagination that will not settle for anything ever again. You have started your incredible journey toward your success.
Ask yourself this question… how do you want to be remembered?
Do you remember your grandfather? Grandmother? Great grandfather? Do you think Donald Trump’s children, grandchildren or great grandchildren will have trouble knowing who he was? Or Colonel Sanders from Kentucky Fried Chicken? Or Ray Kroc from McDonalds? Every time one of their relatives enjoys their life they will harken back to that one person who set their goal and went after that dream.
Am I saying that you can have that kind of lifestyle? Nope. But I am saying that you now have the opportunity for that kind of life. Maybe you never had that opportunity before. Maybe you never want that kind of lifestyle. But now, with just what you have learned here, you have opened your mind to new visions, dreams and possibilities.

Are you working on your GOALS? Are you willing to list those goals? Are you willing to put together a plan that will help you achieve those goals?
This book is titled, THIS ONE IS FOR ME! And I hope you are learning that what you want and how to achieve it is up to you.
Do you understand what it will take for you to overcome who you are and to become who you will be?
Do you understand that this will be an amazing struggle within yourself ? That we all want the status quo. We all want to be comfortable. Do you understand that this growth is out of your comfort zone and will require you to change?

You change your life when you change your mind
-Jim Stovall
There are three things that will help you move forward through all of this. In all of my seminars I touch on these three things, because you will be exactly the same tomorrow as you are today except for these three things: the books you read; the information you listen to; and the people you associate with.
You will learn from reading, listening and from other people ideas and energies how you will need to proceed in your life. And all of these things will help you to grow so that you will learn what you will need to do and what plan you will want to follow.

Have you ever tried to do something that you have never done before? Is it easy? Yes and no, right? Because if there is someone showing you how to do that thing you have never done before it can be easy. That person would be called your mentor. But if you have never done it before and there are no mentors available it is much harder to do.
It’s like putting together that toy at Christmas!
So now take heed to these words…

A purpose is a goal; a plan is the way to get there
-Zachary Sapato
So your next step is the HOW. How will you accomplish your goals? How will you accomplish your destiny?
You will find your how when you have enough reasons. Because the HOW does not matter until you know WHY.

People who know how work for the people who know why.

CH. 6
Take Your Lid Off

Once you start and let your mind experience the freedom of listing all of the things you want to have, do, be or become you will be amazed at how you will feel. Once you choose the things you want in your life you will smile more, laugh more, love more.
When you share those why’s with your significant other or with someone who wants to help you achieve those dreams, your life will change. Your attitude will improve. You will see others change because they will see you change.
Back to the beginning. What was your reason for reading this? What are you looking for? And now, most importantly, what are you willing to do to change your life?
Remember this: SNIOP
It can destroy your dreams.
SNIOP – Susceptible to the Negative Input of Other People.
You and I are all susceptible to the negative brought into our lives. I will guarantee you one thing, as soon as you start this journey, there will be people in your life; friends, family, loved ones, who will try to destroy your dreams. Many of them not on purpose. But you have heard it all before; “You can’t do that”… “Why would you want to do that?”, “No one in this family has ever…”, “Why can’t you just be happy with where you are and what you have?” “I miss the old you”.
Yet, maybe all of this is NEW to you? Have you ever heard of the trained flea circus?
How do you train a flea you ask? Simple. You put fleas in a bottle with a cap and as you watch, the fleas will bounce up and into that lid over and over again until one day you will notice that the fleas are no longer hitting the cap. And then soon you can even take the cap off and they won’t ever jump out again. Why? They have been trained by experience not to jump that high ever again.
Many of us have been trained in a similar manner. When you were a child you had great expectations. There was nothing you couldn’t do. So what happened to that belief?
We were trained by our education system where our lid was. We were taught by schooling how high we might jump. I had a step son in junior high school who loved to draw. We encouraged him because, well, frankly, if I had been Picasso’s Dad I would have thought the kid had no talent at all but look where Picasso is at? So, who am I to judge?
But my son had a teacher who did. And one day he came home all upset and told us his teacher had told him he was not very good at art and probably should not pursue it as a career. He really never drew anything ever again.
We have all had teachers, friends, relatives or someone who didn’t mean to crush our dreams but have said something similar to us.

The message from God is that you are worthy. Worthy of all you can discover. Worthy of all you want. Worthy of dreaming, achieving and accomplishing. Worthy of teaching others that they are worthy.
Because the truth is you CAN accomplish your dreams. You CAN enjoy a better life. You CAN become all you want to be.
THIS ONE IS FOR ME! Should be your motto from now on! Say it again loud, clear and proud.. THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
You can create the life you have always dreamed of. You have the power.
And if you ever see me at an airport or seminar please feel comfortable walking up to me and saying… Steve, THIS ONE IS FOR ME! And you will see me smile and we will laugh and we will both know that you are on your own journey to success.

Steve Sapato has been about the business of changing people’s lives for over twenty years. He is a professional speaker, humorist and author celebrating relationships and love.
twitter: @stevesapato

A journey to your success
Written by Stephen Sapato,
Atlanta, GA

Excerpted from

© 2002 Stephen Sapato
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission is strictly prohibited.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Love-the final frontier called money

Love is an interesting topic and one that people have talked about since Adam fell out of Eve. Or was that out of favor from the Garden Of Eden. But an interesting topic regardless.

Love is all about feelings, emotions, heart aches, passion and even romance. Love is about joyous encounters or heart rending endings. Some people who get hurt from a failed love relationship vow to never fall in love again while others simply ferar the pain so much that they refuse to allow themselves the feelings of love.

But what is love? What makes us fall in love? What makes us want to fall in love?

Love is the natural state of the human condition and when all conditions are in alignment then we can fall in love.

Love is allowing ourselves the comfort of growing close to another person. Close enough that we want to share ourself and our emotions with another person. Close enough that we allow ourselves to trust someone else so deeply that we expose the real us. And in so exposing open ourselves to the pain of ridicule if they don't know how to love us.

Love is an openness that says, I trust you completely.

And when I say, love is the final frontier? I mean it is the final event, the last condition, the ultimate exposure of our 'self'.

Many women start their adult life by getting married. Getting married and falling in love for Americans usually are synonymous. And many women fall in love and give themselves to their husbands and in so doing give that trust to their husbands also.

Many women give themselves up to that trust. And in so doing never take the journey they need to take into a large part of being an adult, responsibility.

Oh I know what you are thinking. Steve Sapato! Are you trying to tell me that a wife and mother are not responsible positions in life?

No I am not telling you that. But there is a HUGE area that many seem to neglect until some disastrous event forces them into this place called financial responsibility. Yes, many ladies do the shoping and care giving. They buy for the household and shop for the kids. They plan the events and moderate the family gatherings but... many know nothing or very little about how the money is deligated and used and where to find the "future" if something happens to their spouse.

at we are putting together a June 2012 Event for women's empowerment called "Let's Get Wellthy" and it is ladies teaching ladies how to find their true power and health. It's about empowerment, knowledge about the power women can exert and how living healthy through knowledge and exercise brings them into a place where they are truly the new leadership of the world.

Yes it is still ok to be a woman. It is still ok to exemplify the women's role in a relationship but it is also now required that you ladies know all about what is going on in your marriage.

It is vital that you know where the safe deposit key is hidden and what is in that box. It is vital that you know how much the mortgage is and how that mortgage will be paid if something should happens to yoru marriage. It is vital that you know about savings accounts, checking accounts and bill paying. It is vital that you are aware of all that can and will affect you if something happens to your marriage.

In my research for my books I have found a very large percentage of women have allowed the man to completely control the financial 'purse strings' and while they say they are aware when something happens to either their partner or the marriage they are completely unprepared for making sure all of the finances are in order.

Love is a wonderful and amazing experience and when developed properly, nurtured and grown will lead to a life of wonder and joy and memories that will be cherished long after one of you is gone. But now we must also understand that love should include both the husband and the wife, or life partners in every aspect of the team they are producing. And a great husband will make sure his wife is as prepared to take responsibility for the marriage as he is.

Now, go where all men and women should have gone before, into the final frontier called, LOVE and fiscal responsibility.