Yes, Santa, I have made some mistakes in love. My Christmas wish is ...

What do you want for Christmas this year? For many it is jewelry, clothes, toys. Most of us we want to be surrounded by people we love and who love us.

Maybe you are one of the many single people who just want to find that special someone. Someone who will fill up our stockings with joy and our hearts with love.

Christmas used to be such a basic part of our life. Was it for you? All you had to do when you were a kid was get excited, get more excited, and wake up and PRESTO! It was Christmas morning and there were gifts and family and laughter and food and love.

Then we grew up. Life got complicated.  Love seemed to fade away. We found years of love in a relationship and then even that went away. Now you might find yourself alone on Christmas and struggling. Asking, why am I alone again on Christmas.

If that is you, then simply say this...

My Christmas wish is to find the love of my life.

And that my friends is who you start this ball rolling so that you will now put into motion a series of happenings that will bring the love of your life into your life so that you won't be alone for Christmas.

I know, way too simple. Aw, Steve, you are saying - I've done that every year for the last five years! - I did that last year! - I'm not going to do that because that's stupid! - Steve, I'm not going to do that because I am done with love.

And I don’t' blame you. I bet I said that 50 times over the last ten years. I said things like, why do I even try! What the heck is wrong with me? Why can't I find someone to love? 

And you have probably had disappointment after disappointment trying to find love. It's just easier to say, forget about it.

But you've never had an elf like me on your side before. If what you really want is to find the love of your life then what you really need is some great help. All great people have coaches, don’t' they? Every successful athlete has had a couple great coaches to teach them things they either didn’t know or to help them hone those skills they do have into a professional level skill.

Now you do to! Well, sort of, you do. 

So let's start with a Christmas wish that will become your mantra for love. Are you ready? Here's what I would like for you to say -  what I really want is to find that special someone I can call the love of my life - I know, but would you say it out loud? Even if it's a whisper... please? - What I really want is to find the love of my life -   ok?

Now that we have said it then you should subscribe to this blog because over the next few weeks I will be sharing with you new ideas, links to videos, podcasts and more information about how you will make that happen. How you will write to me one day and say, STEVE! I have found that special someone that loves me and that I can love. 

You see, that is one of my Christmas wishes... for you to find the love of your life.

Yes, Santa, we have all made mistakes and now I want to learn how to get past those mistakes, love myself, and find out how to love someone else and allow them to love me.

I believe in you. I believe that you believe in you too.

Now subscribe, please? And let's start this new year off right. With a great outlook and a new chance, yes, it's just a chance, that you will find the love of your life this year. 

I wrote the book The Twenty, which you can order off of my website or go to Amazon and download it as an eBook. It will help you start. It will make a difference to you. Then connect with me.

Let's make this an amazing year for so many great reasons. Love is one of them.

I am Steve Sapato, relationship coach, author and speaker wishing you an amazing new year.

www.stevesapato.com

The Dog that I call love.

The Dog that I call love.

Now what does that mean? Love is what you decide it is. Love for me is being and finding a partner that I will treat like a dog and they will do the same for me. I know, that offends some people because they want to jump to all kinds of conclusions.

But what I am hoping I have found and what I am hoping my partner has found is that amazing sweetness that a dog offers to you, unconditionally.

A partner who never takes offense even when you inadvertently hurt them. One who is always excited to see you. One who gets off of their chair when you get home just to give you kisses. And one who loves to snuggle and be near to you.

One who, when you leave, misses you and even if you are gone for a few minutes or a few days is just as excited that you came back!

One who looks at you with all the love in their hearts and offers that to you every day of their life until they take that last breath.

Yes, and I am offering that love that I call Dog.

And I hope you find the love you are looking for also.

Steve Sapato

Relationship Coach and mentor to help you find the love of your life. When you are ready to be coached to a great life in love drop Steve a note steve@stevesapato.com

and order The Twenty, things you need to learn in order to find the love of your life

http://www.amazon.com/Twenty-Steve-Sapato/dp/098305570X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1365737934&sr=1-1&keywords=the+twenty+by+steve+sapato

Love is all about you. Why love is never easy and often doesn't last.

Whenever I speak on love I consistently find people who are frustrated that they cannot find love. I am asked, why is love so hard to find?

The answer is simple: love is easy to find but a lasting, loving relationship is extremely hard to find. And that is because we are looking for someone who matches up with us. We are looking for someone who will love us enough because that is what we expect. That's what all the movies tell us; all the novels. My gosh, even 50 Shades says, even though we start off as a sex object it will turn into a long lasting, fulfilling, relationship filled with love.

And that is not how the world really works. We want someone to be our perfect match. They never will be.

What we should be looking for is how we can fill up someone else with our love and then, hopefully, in return, they will want to fill up our love tank and help us feel loved and fulfilled. But we won't know that until we give ourselves to another.

Yes, I understand, you have given yourself to so many others already but you have not met anyone who will do the same for you. Isn't that how you are feeling?

The answer again is, then you have not met the right person.

Oh my gosh! How many people do I have to meet? The answer is, you have to go through a lot of frogs to find your prince. I am sure you have heard something like that many times before.

The real key is, knowing yourself. Knowing what, exactly, you want. Once you find a person you think you might be the right one then you have to evaluate the other parts of your relationship. It's easy to say, I love you. It's easy to say I am in love. It's easy to say, this is the one!

It's another thing to really evaluate if you can fill them up or if this person will continue to fill you up. Do you know what makes you feel loved? Do you know what your love languages are and what makes you feel loved? Do you understand whether they will be able to keep you filled up? Do you know if you will be able to keep them filled up?

Don't misunderstand. Just because they can make you feel loved for a few weeks or even a couple months does not mean they will continue to do that for you for years to come. It takes a huge committment, a great sacrifice to make someone feel loved every day. Can you? Can they?

But this is your tie to be selfish. It is your time to care only about you. It is your time to make sure that you will find that happiness. Because if you are not happy, you will find it impossible to help others find happiness. If you are not happy you will find it unrewarding to keep filling another persons love tank.

Here are some questions you must ask yourself when you are involved in a relationship: have you asked your partner, every day, what you can do to make them happier today? Have you asked yourself, has my partner asked me what can make me happier in our relationship? Do you talk to each other about your dreams and goals? Do you share your deepest desires with your partner and do they accept them?

Those are keys to your happiness. Is your partner willing to be uncomfortable, even for a little while, to do something that makes you feel loved?

You see, your love language will determine that. If your love language is acts of service, then, will they do the dishes? Cook a meal? Take out the garbage? To make you feel more loved? If your love language is physical touch, will they rub your neck, shoulders or back to make you feel more loved? If your love language is quality time, will they shop with you, sit with you , walk with you, spend time just to make you feel more loved? If your love language is gifts, will they bring you little things to show they were thinking of you, buy you something to make you feel loved? If your love language is words of affirmation, will they compliment you, tell you great things, tell you how proud they are,

just to make you feel more loved.

And ... will they do this for years to come?

What typically happens is, they will do it for a short time but soon it becomes a burden. And without your love languages being given, being acted upon, soon you will feel less loved. And less loved, leads to other things.

So lets go back to the title of this article, love is all about you which means, it's all about them also.

Love is never easy to find and even more difficult to keep. Unless you find that special someone who knows how and why it's important to make you feel loved.

I am Steve Sapato. I wrote The Twenty book about how to find love. I know it's possible and I know how difficult it will be. But I believe.

www.stevesapato.com
steve@stevesapato.com

Love - It's all about them....

Today is THURSDAY! A day to finalize some things and make sure you are ready to finish things up on Friday so you can enjoy that weekend. One of those things is your partner... make sure you make them feel loved and appreciated. Make sure you are ready to make them smile on Saturday morning... a sweet surprise? A small gift? I wonderful adventure? Show them you love them by planning... yes, planning, something special.

When you plan something special you are telling them how much you care, how much you love them, how much you mean to them.

And when your partner understands that you care enough to plan then they will reciprocate with offering you things that will make you feel more loved also.

I know, but Steve, what if my partner doesn't do that? Why should I do that for them if they won't do that for me? What if they don't reciprocate? Why am I always the one doing all of this? When will they do it for me too?

And my answer has always been the same... do it because you understand love. Do it because you have read the Five Love Languages and really 'get it'. Do it because you love them. And I hope that you will feel better because you did that for them.

And if they don't reciprocate. If they don't do it for you. If they never will, never have, and don't... then know that you are sharing your love in a way that makes you feel good about being you. And, after all, loving yourself and being true to yourself is much of what life is all about.

Then, maybe one day, you will see a change in them or maybe one day they will meet someone like me who says, wow, you should be doing this for your partner. And maybe, one day, they will surprise you with a glimmer of what you have been giving to them.

But until they do? Remember to be you and love them the best way you know how. And smile because you are so amazing.   
P.S.  And remember guys, some ladies love coffee in bed or at least that you thought of them that much.

www.stevesapato.com   athor of The Twenty -relationship book and several other ebooks available on Amazon.com

Finding love through fear

Once I thought everyone wanted the same romantic relationship as I did, then I started listening, learning, reading and studying. Now I understand how fragile we all are, how any pain sends most people running into the recesses of their minds and they won't share their real feelings. Fear. Hurt. So now I write from the thousands I have learned from and hope to help you find the person that will help you blossom into the person and with the love you were meant to share.   www.stevesapato.com    www.facebook.com/stevesapato

Love sucks~ and other great ideas

Love sucks and other great ideas! When I talk to some people they talk about love like it's the worst thing that ever happened to them and it probably is.

When people come away from love with such a bad attitude about love then all I can say is, they don't understand love. I have interviewed hundreds of people and couples about love: the good, the bad and the ugly.

I have interviewed people who lost the love of their life to death and they still talk about love with magic on their tongues. I have talked to people who lost the love of their life because something went wrong in their relationship and they still talk about love with delight. And I have talked to people who have lost the love of someone they loved because something went wrong and all they can do is talk badly about their partner or badly about love and how love sucks. They talk about how it can't be trusted, and the pain of promises made and the promises broken.

What we find is that love is love. That's all. Love is love and has nothing whatsoever to do with how you were treated, what happened to you or how you feel. The fact that something happened to end the love someone felt towards you is no ones fault. There is no blame. There is no fault. There is only an end to that relationship.

What always surprises me is that some people will always blame someone else for losing that love or falling out of love or lying to them about being in love.

What always surprises me is that some people need to blame someone for love ending. Instead of reveling in the love that they have felt, instead of delighting in the memories they enjoy they instead need to blame and hurt and hold onto the pain that they feel when it ends.

Love will always end in life. For some of us we will love until we die. But when someone dies the physical love they shared with another "dies" also. And the person being loved may never feel that love again except in mental or emotional way. And we seem to understand that.

But when someone else falls out of love with us many of us never understand. Never forgive. Never get over it.

Sad for those who hold onto their pain. Sad that they have the opportunity to love again but because of their own inability to forgive they may never truly share love with someone else again.

For LOVE is a shared emotion when it is between people who are looking for that loving connection. And when one is not complete because they have not forgiven a past failure in love then they are not whole or complete enough to be able to share their broken love with anyone else.

Yes, they might try and you may even be the recipient of this broken love and it will never be complete. It will never fill the void that they have left in their own hearts no matter how much love you offer them.

So when you look to fall in love make sure that it is with someone who is complete. Who has forgiven all past relationships, broken promises and failed loves.

Time can be a great healer but your ability to forgive your old lover as well as forgive yourself are the true keys to finding a new and improved love of your life.

Buy my book The Twenty on Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/098305570X/ref=cm_pdp_wish_itm_img_4

The AGE of sex~

So many questions from so many ladies about what makes a great relationship as we get older. This is the most difficult topic because we are dealing with established morals, long term experiences and the new conversations about how sex is so easy and accepted in elderly housing.

The greatest increase in STD's (sexually transmitted diseases) is occurring in nursing homes and elderly housing.

What can that mean? That when we reach a certain age if it feels good do it? Or does it mean that if we are allowed to just enjoy our bodies without fear of our surroundings it's ok?

The truth is, as we get older and we don't find emotionally satisfying relationships our desires do not diminish. For the most part it is the women who are the most frustrated by this. Recent surveys are showing that women over 60 are the highest category for buying personal electronic devices over the internet.

How can that be? How can all of our "beliefs" be this wrong? It's simple. In the past we heard something and we passed it on. Things like, 'men never ask for directions'. Of course that was not true. But we BELIEVED it because it was the joke. Now we are starting to understand that the old joke about men wanting sex more than women is simply not true. The truth is that women love sex and want more sex 'when it is performed correctly' than men.

A recent survey said that 77% of all women say their partners need to attend a class to become a better lover.
When I ask men about this study, 100% of all the men say something to the effect of, thank good I am not in that 77%!
We have a deny society. When what should be happening is the men should be saying, wow, I wonder if my partner thinks that? And then go home and ask. But they don't.

This indicates to me that there are many many women frustrated sexually and this might help to explain the rise in extramarital affairs among women over the last ten years.

So now back to the original question. What should single women over the age of sixty do about their needs.

The answer is not easy but it is simple. What are your needs? Who can fulfill them? And how do you go about that?

Most women over sixty were not taught about personal pleasure. They were taught to be a good wife and go along and not make waves and and and ... They were taught that their own pleasure in sex was not that important and in many cases that to pleasure yourself was a sin. Many older women have never experimented with their own bodies. Many have denied their own desires.

And now, as they are getting older they see more and more on TV and in the movies and they want more out of life. I recently finished an erotic novelette ebook called The Unintended Casanova on Amazon and the demand has been very good. The ladies who have written to me asking for the second novelette has surprised me and most are older women.

And several ladies have written to me asking about their own personal satisfaction. They have discussed having a huge sexual appetite and what they should do about it. I listen intently and offer my best advice but each one is such an incredibly different story. How they were brought up, what they were or were not allowed to do.

And my best advice is very simple.... I ask, what do you want to do.

And each one will share what they really want. And my question still comes back to, if you do that, how will that make you feel? And most do not know. Will they feel guilty? Will they feel cheep? and WHY? Is it their morals from a very old upbringing? Is it the stigma that their friends will think things about them? Are they afraid of being talked about, looked at... treated differently?

And those are the things that you must know in advance and prepare yourself to deal with if you decide that your own personal passions that are wanting to be set free need to come out and be acted upon.

Overcoming your 'training' is a very difficult thing. Overcoming you own conscience will be your greatest challenge.

But my greatest advice to you is this. If you know someone who needs to confide in you any of these types of feelings, please do not judge them, laugh or ridicule. Listen openly and without your own prejudices involved and allow them to truly express what they want as the reach toward the end of their sexual peak.

My relationship book is The Twenty and you can find it on my website www.stevesapato.com to help you pick the love of your life and stop dating the wrong people. I hope you find love and happiness in your life that will reach well into the future.

EVOLVE~

What Evolved Women Want

WAIT FOR A MAN WHO'S DONE THE WORK

While most women have a natural urge to be nurturing and supportive, relationships are not the place for a man's therapy.

Rescuing a man, even supporting a man who's struggling to find himself or move beyond feelings of insecurity and insignificance will almost certainly set you up to be seen in a motherly role, rather than the one he adores and desires to ravish.

Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Anthony Weiner were all partnered with magnificently supportive women.

No matter how exceptional his gifts, no matter what his potential, if a man hasn't completed his personal work before the relationship it's hard to win his passion once you've allowed yourself to take on the role of his healer and confidant.

Wait for a man who chooses you rather than the man who needs you.

Graham R White

I have always been the person that people come to when they have a question about their relationship. I am not sure why. Something in me. Something I offer. But I also know that when I give I receive.

I have women ask me very personal questions. Intimate. Detailed.

But recently an acquaintance, someone that I would have entertained a relationship with at one time in my life and who has been in touch with me for a while stepped up to the plate and invited me to hear what she had to say to me.

You see, it was my turn to listen once again. But this time it was for me to listen with the intent to hear and not to respond or help.
This person proceeded to share with me that I had hurt her feelings once upon a time. And I, in my infinite wisdom could not even remember the conversation.

You see, what often times hurts another we do not see or even understand. She shared with me the entire conversation. She had either saved it in her journal or memorized it in her pain. I, in my wonderful lack of insight, had no recollection of the conversation. You see, to me, it was just a casual conversation, a place that I used as an example of how others say things they do not even know they say... and the strange part of that was, that was exactly what I had done to her.

She explained to me that in our conversations instead of being the loving, considerate and generous person she read on my facebook wall, that I was a hardnosed individual who had a need to be right, sometimes aggressive and often times rude.

Of course this hurt my feelings but sometimes it takes such an awakening to make us aware of our own shortcomings. This was one of those times.

Just learning that I had at one time hurt her feelings and upset her made me feel bad. I desire to help and hold up people and would not wish it known that I deliberately or with neglect had offended or hurt someone and seemed unkind or unloving. So just learning this from her already brought me pain.

To further learn that she thought I was the person who needed to be right, was flippant and uncaring, and even rude was a slap to my face.

One thing I have learned it that if someone genuinely comes to you with respect and with a good heart that they are saying what they felt. Even if I believe it was untrue they believed it was true. Now knowing this. who would you believe. Yourself? or the other person.

Most of us would say... we would believe ourselves. In this situation, because I know her heart, I believed her. And therefore realized I need to do some internal change upon myself.

I share this, not because I want to tell you all about me but because so many of us don't want to believe what others say about us. We have our own protective barriers up and we keep ourselves insulated against words that would hurt us or ridicule us or make us feel badly about ourselves.

That is normally a good thing because so many people do say careless and flippant things, even mean things that could hurt us.

But if you know someones heart. If you know their desire to be honest with you. And if you understand that we all make mistakes, then you will listen, even more, you will hear what the other person has to say. Take it to heart. And make changes.

If you have a partner and that partner comes to you, shares with you and offers themselves to you to try to help you understand something you did or it might have been something you didn't do but should have then you might find yourself in this situation.

A situation that requires you to be open and honest with yourself. And in this fashion it is your opportunity to become someone better than you were before they came to you.

I hope, that one day soon, someone you truly care about comes to you and helps you to become a better person.

After all, that is what love is. Sharing, caring and growing together.

Much love~
Steve
www.stevesapato.com

This one is for me!

THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
A KEY TO HELP YOU FIND THE SECRET TO
YOUR HAPPINESS


BY
STEVE SAPATO
AUTHOR OF THE TWENTY
THE TWENTY: A BOOK DESIGNED TO HELP YOU DISCOVER A LOVE FOR YOUR LIFETIME
WWW.THETWENTYBOOK.COM
FOR ALL WHO COME TO THIS HAPPY PLACE. WELCOME!
–WALT DISNEY

CH.1

You have heard the phrase “This one is for you!” murmured and shouted many times by many people. Rocky shouted the now infamous phrase, “Yo Adrian! I did it!” In many movies and in all kinds of books, we have read or heard the phrase uttered, ‘I’m going to win this one for…’ and then they name that person. In literature we have often related to someone saying something like, ‘and when I do this, then THEY will notice me!’
What all of these people are saying is that they needed motivation from someone else to help them make their dreams come true or to accomplish something that they deemed important.

How about you? Do you need some outside motivation to make your dreams come true? Do you need someone out there to be proud of you in order to put your best foot forward? Do you need someone to stand behind you and root for you in order to make something happen in your life?
Sometimes we all do. Sometimes we need that little extra push to get us going. Sometimes we need someone to believe in us so that we can believe in ourselves again.



CH. 2
Not Any More-

If that was true in your past then we are going to create a new you. We are going to create a YOU that is all that you have ever wanted in you. We are going to create a you that is becoming all that you have ever dreamed of being.
I want you to think, right now, about all of the things you TRULY want in your life.
I want you to KNOW that you are now becoming the person that can accomplish everything you have ever wanted to accomplish.
I want you to know – that you can have, do, be, or become everything you have ever dreamed of.
And I want you to stop right now and understand that we are creating a brand new possibility thinking you that is amazing and I want you to say this out loud …
THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
again
THIS ONE IS FOR ME!

Stop… did you do it? Or did you just think about doing it?

What if I told you, that by doing this one thing it would make all of your dreams come true? Would you do it now?
I just said, we are creating… did you understand that? We are creating a brand new you who will accomplish so much more than the old you. But in that CREATING it requires you to extend yourself, to become more than you were, to do things outside of your old self and your old comfort zone.
Do you get that?
Now lets’ try that again… out loud… verbally…

THIS ONE IS FOR ME!

If you do this then YOU know you are growing already. If you cannot do this… you might as well put this book aside right now because we are creating a new you and you need to extend yourself way beyond where you were.

You are reading this book and buying courses and investing in yourself because you want more out of life. You are looking for that special secret that will change your circumstances. That secret is changing the you that you are, into the you that will bring you to all of your dreams.

You don’t live life as it is, you life life as you are. –Les Brown




CH. 3

A NEW YOU-

Author and speaker Kevin Bracy’s motto is “Brace Yourself” and that is what I want you to do as you read this chapter. Brace yourself for a new you. Brace yourself for major changes coming your way. Brace yourself so that you will be open to what you will need to do, what you must do, what you should do in order to make this change a reality for your life.
And now I want you to know that you motto is simple. This motto will change your life. This motto is designed to make your dreams come true. Now say it, internalize it, make it your reality because it’s truth. Say this –
THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
Say it every day, ten times a day, one hundred times a day until you understand that everything you do is for YOU!
When you are confused, uncertain, lost, afraid, take on this personal responsibility to make your life better by saying.. I can do this because THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
When you start to think, I can’t do this, ask yourself every time, if this is for me, what do I really want?





Have you asked yourself this before? Have you ever set down and asked yourself, ‘what do I really want?’
You are reading this because you want to know, can you learn something from this that will teach you how to get something that you currently do not have. Will this teach me something I do not already know so that I can have, do, be or become something that I really want.
So of course, our first question becomes, do you know what you want to have, do, be or become?


CH. 4

A Goal-

Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile dream or goal. – Steve Sapato

You see, very few of us understand our need to set goals in order to achieve great results.
Would you like to be happier, healthier, have better relationships and or make more money than you are today?
Did you answer yes to any one or maybe even all of those?
What would you be willing to do that will lead to all of the results you are wanting?

Authors and speakers Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Mark McCormick and yes, me, Steve Sapato all use a Harvard Study that was conducted between 1979 and 1989. The graduates of the Harvard MBA program were asked how many of them had clear written goals and had made a plan to accomplish them.
Only three percent (3%) of the graduates had written goals and plans. Thirteen percent (13%) had goals but not in writing, eighty four percent (84%) had no specific goals other than graduating and enjoying their summer.
Ten years later those same people were interviewed and it was found that the thirteen percent (13%) who had goals that were not written down were earning, on average, twice as much as the eighty four percent (84%) who had no goals. But most surprising is that they found that the three percent (3%) who had clear written goals were earning, on average, ten times (10X) as much as the other ninety seven percent (97%) combined!
They also learned that the three percent (3%) were, on average, happier, healthier and had experienced longer lasting relationships.
I ask you again, would you like to be happier, healthier, have better relationships and/or make more money than you are today? Are you willing to take the steps that will help you accomplish that?





CH. 5
Stopping the Don’ts

How are you living your life right now? Because what I am about to tell you WILL change your life.
Are you pro-active or are you re-active? You are reading this because you want life to be better. How much are you willing to do to make that happen?
We all understand self-talk. Well, let me clarify, if you are reading this you have a basic knowledge about self talk. How your own self talk can help you or hinder you. How your success comes from your image of yourself. And of course, how much money you have is reflected in how you think about money.
I will make this much simpler. Stop saying No and Don’t!
Right now, I don’t want you to think of an elephant!
The first thing you thought of was an elephant. If you are REALLY good, your immediate thought process replaced the image of an elephant with something else… a rabbit, a cheetah, whatever it is you might be thinking of right now. BUT… the first thing you thought of was… ta-da! An elephant. But why? My statement was, DON’T think of an elephant.
And you wonder why you can’t lose weight. Sheesh!





Our self talk has never been self Taught! Why is it when we go on diets, weight loss programs that most of us have cravings for many of the things we CAN’T have?
The reason is when I go on a diet I keep telling myself all of the things I cannot have. Maybe not talking out loud but certainly my inner self-talk is all about “ if you are going to lose weight you can’t have ice cream!” Or you can’t have apple pie or baked potatoes or …
We fill our minds with what we CAN’T have. And when we tell our minds Don’t, Can’t, Not our minds do not comprehend those words.
Don’t think of an elephant made you think of an elephant therefore don’t have apple pie makes you want apple pie. You can’t have ice cream makes your mind crave ice cream. All your mind hears are the words… apple pie or ice cream.
So what do you do about it? You have to reprogram yourself to replace the undesirable with the desired result.
A recent commercial was good at this. They were talking about weight loss and were saying, you want to see yourself as slim, attractive and healthy… and they didn’t push, you want to lose weight? Shave off the inches? Get rid of those ugly pounds?
Now we have to help you figure out what you really want and how you need to word your requests in order to achieve it.
As we talk about success we have already discussed how your success is started by you writing down your goals. Change your goals in your mind, on your paper, in your self talk.
Instead of writing I am going to lose twenty pounds, write down what you will weigh when you are where you want to be. That means, when I am starting my NEW ME program, I won’t write down I am going to lose 20 lbs, but that I weigh 215 lbs and I am so proud of myself when I look in the mirror every morning.
Many of us write down our goals like we are sacrificing to achieve them.
When we were young we said “one day I hope I will be able to save $10,000 a year” and all of the statistics say that the average American has less than $10,000 saved by age 50! So that plan obviously isn’t working. Why not change your thinking, now you can say “I save $10 per day and put it into my wealth plan.”
Now let’s find out what you really want and what you are willing to work toward?
STOP!!!

Go find a tablet right now and start writing down your wants and needs for the next ten years.
STOP!
I said go NOW! Come back when you have at least twenty things you want to have, do, be or become written down on your paper!





CH. 6
This One Is For Me

I hope you did that because THAT is what this chapter is all about. You achieving your dreams and your happiness. Your new you.
If you did that incredibly important step then you are on your way to your incredible journey. You will find that your list will grow as you find out that doing this helped you to achieve your “bucket list”. And you will discover that you have opened up your imagination that will not settle for anything ever again. You have started your incredible journey toward your success.
Ask yourself this question… how do you want to be remembered?
Do you remember your grandfather? Grandmother? Great grandfather? Do you think Donald Trump’s children, grandchildren or great grandchildren will have trouble knowing who he was? Or Colonel Sanders from Kentucky Fried Chicken? Or Ray Kroc from McDonalds? Every time one of their relatives enjoys their life they will harken back to that one person who set their goal and went after that dream.
Am I saying that you can have that kind of lifestyle? Nope. But I am saying that you now have the opportunity for that kind of life. Maybe you never had that opportunity before. Maybe you never want that kind of lifestyle. But now, with just what you have learned here, you have opened your mind to new visions, dreams and possibilities.

Are you working on your GOALS? Are you willing to list those goals? Are you willing to put together a plan that will help you achieve those goals?
This book is titled, THIS ONE IS FOR ME! And I hope you are learning that what you want and how to achieve it is up to you.
Do you understand what it will take for you to overcome who you are and to become who you will be?
Do you understand that this will be an amazing struggle within yourself ? That we all want the status quo. We all want to be comfortable. Do you understand that this growth is out of your comfort zone and will require you to change?

You change your life when you change your mind
-Jim Stovall
There are three things that will help you move forward through all of this. In all of my seminars I touch on these three things, because you will be exactly the same tomorrow as you are today except for these three things: the books you read; the information you listen to; and the people you associate with.
You will learn from reading, listening and from other people ideas and energies how you will need to proceed in your life. And all of these things will help you to grow so that you will learn what you will need to do and what plan you will want to follow.




Have you ever tried to do something that you have never done before? Is it easy? Yes and no, right? Because if there is someone showing you how to do that thing you have never done before it can be easy. That person would be called your mentor. But if you have never done it before and there are no mentors available it is much harder to do.
It’s like putting together that toy at Christmas!
So now take heed to these words…

A purpose is a goal; a plan is the way to get there
-Zachary Sapato
So your next step is the HOW. How will you accomplish your goals? How will you accomplish your destiny?
You will find your how when you have enough reasons. Because the HOW does not matter until you know WHY.


People who know how work for the people who know why.








CH. 6
Take Your Lid Off

Once you start and let your mind experience the freedom of listing all of the things you want to have, do, be or become you will be amazed at how you will feel. Once you choose the things you want in your life you will smile more, laugh more, love more.
When you share those why’s with your significant other or with someone who wants to help you achieve those dreams, your life will change. Your attitude will improve. You will see others change because they will see you change.
Back to the beginning. What was your reason for reading this? What are you looking for? And now, most importantly, what are you willing to do to change your life?
Remember this: SNIOP
It can destroy your dreams.
SNIOP – Susceptible to the Negative Input of Other People.
You and I are all susceptible to the negative brought into our lives. I will guarantee you one thing, as soon as you start this journey, there will be people in your life; friends, family, loved ones, who will try to destroy your dreams. Many of them not on purpose. But you have heard it all before; “You can’t do that”… “Why would you want to do that?”, “No one in this family has ever…”, “Why can’t you just be happy with where you are and what you have?” “I miss the old you”.
Yet, maybe all of this is NEW to you? Have you ever heard of the trained flea circus?
How do you train a flea you ask? Simple. You put fleas in a bottle with a cap and as you watch, the fleas will bounce up and into that lid over and over again until one day you will notice that the fleas are no longer hitting the cap. And then soon you can even take the cap off and they won’t ever jump out again. Why? They have been trained by experience not to jump that high ever again.
Many of us have been trained in a similar manner. When you were a child you had great expectations. There was nothing you couldn’t do. So what happened to that belief?
We were trained by our education system where our lid was. We were taught by schooling how high we might jump. I had a step son in junior high school who loved to draw. We encouraged him because, well, frankly, if I had been Picasso’s Dad I would have thought the kid had no talent at all but look where Picasso is at? So, who am I to judge?
But my son had a teacher who did. And one day he came home all upset and told us his teacher had told him he was not very good at art and probably should not pursue it as a career. He really never drew anything ever again.
We have all had teachers, friends, relatives or someone who didn’t mean to crush our dreams but have said something similar to us.




The message from God is that you are worthy. Worthy of all you can discover. Worthy of all you want. Worthy of dreaming, achieving and accomplishing. Worthy of teaching others that they are worthy.
Because the truth is you CAN accomplish your dreams. You CAN enjoy a better life. You CAN become all you want to be.
THIS ONE IS FOR ME! Should be your motto from now on! Say it again loud, clear and proud.. THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
You can create the life you have always dreamed of. You have the power.
And if you ever see me at an airport or seminar please feel comfortable walking up to me and saying… Steve, THIS ONE IS FOR ME! And you will see me smile and we will laugh and we will both know that you are on your own journey to success.











Steve Sapato has been about the business of changing people’s lives for over twenty years. He is a professional speaker, humorist and author celebrating relationships and love.
www.stevesapato.com
www.thetwentybook.com
www.facebook.com/stevesapato
twitter: @stevesapato
@greatmanagers





THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
A journey to your success
Written by Stephen Sapato,
Atlanta, GA



Excerpted from





A MASSIVE DOSE OF MOTIVATION
© 2002 Stephen Sapato
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission is strictly prohibited.

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