Yes, Santa, I have made some mistakes in love. My Christmas wish is ...

What do you want for Christmas this year? For many it is jewelry, clothes, toys. Most of us we want to be surrounded by people we love and who love us.

Maybe you are one of the many single people who just want to find that special someone. Someone who will fill up our stockings with joy and our hearts with love.

Christmas used to be such a basic part of our life. Was it for you? All you had to do when you were a kid was get excited, get more excited, and wake up and PRESTO! It was Christmas morning and there were gifts and family and laughter and food and love.

Then we grew up. Life got complicated.  Love seemed to fade away. We found years of love in a relationship and then even that went away. Now you might find yourself alone on Christmas and struggling. Asking, why am I alone again on Christmas.

If that is you, then simply say this...

My Christmas wish is to find the love of my life.

And that my friends is who you start this ball rolling so that you will now put into motion a series of happenings that will bring the love of your life into your life so that you won't be alone for Christmas.

I know, way too simple. Aw, Steve, you are saying - I've done that every year for the last five years! - I did that last year! - I'm not going to do that because that's stupid! - Steve, I'm not going to do that because I am done with love.

And I don’t' blame you. I bet I said that 50 times over the last ten years. I said things like, why do I even try! What the heck is wrong with me? Why can't I find someone to love? 

And you have probably had disappointment after disappointment trying to find love. It's just easier to say, forget about it.

But you've never had an elf like me on your side before. If what you really want is to find the love of your life then what you really need is some great help. All great people have coaches, don’t' they? Every successful athlete has had a couple great coaches to teach them things they either didn’t know or to help them hone those skills they do have into a professional level skill.

Now you do to! Well, sort of, you do. 

So let's start with a Christmas wish that will become your mantra for love. Are you ready? Here's what I would like for you to say -  what I really want is to find that special someone I can call the love of my life - I know, but would you say it out loud? Even if it's a whisper... please? - What I really want is to find the love of my life -   ok?

Now that we have said it then you should subscribe to this blog because over the next few weeks I will be sharing with you new ideas, links to videos, podcasts and more information about how you will make that happen. How you will write to me one day and say, STEVE! I have found that special someone that loves me and that I can love. 

You see, that is one of my Christmas wishes... for you to find the love of your life.

Yes, Santa, we have all made mistakes and now I want to learn how to get past those mistakes, love myself, and find out how to love someone else and allow them to love me.

I believe in you. I believe that you believe in you too.

Now subscribe, please? And let's start this new year off right. With a great outlook and a new chance, yes, it's just a chance, that you will find the love of your life this year. 

I wrote the book The Twenty, which you can order off of my website or go to Amazon and download it as an eBook. It will help you start. It will make a difference to you. Then connect with me.

Let's make this an amazing year for so many great reasons. Love is one of them.

I am Steve Sapato, relationship coach, author and speaker wishing you an amazing new year.

www.stevesapato.com

You allow bad people or good people into your life

For almost 8 years I have been teaching people how to empower themselves. One of my greatest joys in life is teaching women how to empower themselves. I have women ask me, how can you, a man, teach a woman how to be empowered.

I love that question. Because it's so silly. Anyone can teach anyone else if they want to and are open to learning.
Last year at one of my events I had a woman who said she was feeling completely trapped. That she was constantly being pulled this way and that way and that she had no time to be herself. We shared and talked and at the end of day one she was certain she was learning and then she did it... she said she could not come back for the second day because her family needed her to drive and pick up and... and just like that she went right back to empower her family instead of herself.
And if that's what she loves, I say do it! But she just spent several hours sharing with us at different times how she didn't feel valued and felt taken advantage of because of how her family treated her.

You see, if you are not ready to hear a message even if you think you want to hear a message you will hear it but your old habits will pay it no attention.

I recently had a woman tell me that her boyfriend was jealous, controlling and at times, mean to her. I asked her if she liked the way he treated her and she said no. She said she didn't like it at all. And when I asked her what she planned on doing about it she replied, what can I do? I love him.

What do you think?  As a life coach, as a Professional Speaker in empowering yourself should I have set her down and told her what to do? How she should act? Why she shouldn't allow someone to treat her that way?

The answer is, NO! Notice that she did not invite my advice nor did she hire me for my advice. She did not ask what should I do, she merely said she did not like how he treated her but she loved him and therefore allowed him to treat her that way.

So it was truly none of my business.

You see we all allow things into our lives. I teach restaurants how to increase tips for their servers by giving amazing service in ways they have never thought of. And yet I watch customers ALLOW servers to treat them in a manner that is not exceptional. How many times have you or a friend said, my food isn't great and when the server came over and gave your their patented, 'so how is everything tonight folks?' speech you looked at each other and said, "Fine."  You ALLOWED that restaurant to give you less than great food and great service. Yet don't you go to a restaurant to get great food and great service? So why do you allow that to happen to you?
You see, we are all guilty at times of allowing others to treat us in a certain way.

I have the most perfectly respectable West Highland Terrier dog. I can take her anywhere and not leash her and she will stay right by me or if I am playing sand volleyball she will lay under a picnic table waiting for me to finish my game. Other players have brought their dogs but leashed them and when they bark and yelp during the game incessantly and the players will say to me, how do you get your dog to be like that?

And all I say is, I trained her. You see, she now treats me as I taught her to treat me and everyone around me. Respectably.

Do you know you train the people around you how you want to be treated by how you allow them to treat you? Your siblings, parents, children, friends and coworkers. They treat you exactly as you have taught them to treat you.
So if your significant other, your boyfriend, girlfriend, partner treats you badly it is because you have allowed them to treat you that way in the past.

How do you fix it? By empowering yourself to say, please don't treat me like that any more, That is unacceptable to me. I won't allow you to say, do that to me any more.And then take action on what you just said.

I look forward to you teaching people around you how amazing you are and that they should treat you, as you treat them, as i they are all, AMAZING.

www.stevesapato.com  and pick up my free ebook, This One Is For Me! on my site.

How important is Learning About Love...

How important is past experience? 

I am asked all the time how I wrote a book about finding a successful relationship when I am not involved in one.
I wrote, "The Twenty, things you need to learn in order to find the love of your life" as well as my management and motivational books. The Twenty is all about LEARNING, please note that in the subtitle. The things you need to learn.

But what I excel at is ideas. Crystallizing your thinking. Taking you from this thought process or this idea and offering you other ideas, other motivations, other concepts or sometimes just helping you clarify the idea you have to make it 'laser focused' I believe is the hot term for it today.

But you see, I have all of this information because I have had ALL of this experience. I have managed businesses from small and medium retail operations to being in management in major corporations.
I have owned companies that were me alone and me with 40 employees. I have worked with leaders who had great ideas but didn't have a clue how to implement them and other wealthy people who had no ideas but great desire to find something.
I win and help you win because I am completely open to everything that happens around me and yes, I have been right and I have been wrong.

I have worked in so many positions and industries it would make your head spin but that is also how I see things with such a different attitude than most other business leaders.

From the time I was a teen getting my first jobs I was stretched. I dipped ice cream for Baskin-Robbins, sold cosmetics at major department store counters, merchandised women's shoes for major retailers. I have turned companies around with simple ideas and improvements and watched my own fail because I couldn't raise enough capital to get to that place where I knew success was waiting.

I have dealt Craps as a River Boat gambler and slung hash at small town diners. Poured drinks at local pubs and sat with corporate CEO's and been invited to share my ideas about business. I have been a purchasing agent at Las Vegas Trade Shows for sporting goods and fashion clothing and International Food Shows for all of the amazing foods and beverages you can imagine.

The reason Mental Prosperity works, the reason my book The Twenty works, is because I am not afraid to ask questions. I interviewed over 2400 people for my book The Twenty to gain insights and information. It is how I deduced that the average attractive female on the dating site Match dot com receives forty times as many original emails as the average male. It is how I understand that because of this fact alone, many women are inundated with offers and cannot respond to all of the men writing and why the men are angry that the women don't respond. A major misinterpretation for communication on dating sights.

The reason Mental Prosperity is the key to your success is because we have filled our minds with information and neglected to use it when we need it. It is cataloged and moved around and through loss of focus we neglect the most important part of what makes us successful. The good things that happen to us.

It's all inside of us. I recently was sharing with someone who said she could not have a successful relationship because of her upbringing and abusive and hurtful treatment by her parents.
I merely asked, when did you move out? She said she was twenty when that happened and I asked how old she was now, sixty-one.
I pointed this out to her, you had twenty years of bad upbringing by your parents and forty one years of bad upbringing by constantly reliving that twenty years by you! Isn't it time you took control of your life and stopped being a victim? Do you want to find love? Do you want to find a partner? and she said yes! Now she is a client and moving forward in her life. No more excuses.

What makes Mental Prosperity work, what makes THE TWENTY work is the same thing that allowed me to write a book to help others discover a successful relationship and life. It is that what is in you is greater than what has happened to you but you have to take control of that force within you.

I believe in you. I believe you can be. And I want to help you to get there.

This one is for me!

THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
A KEY TO HELP YOU FIND THE SECRET TO
YOUR HAPPINESS


BY
STEVE SAPATO
AUTHOR OF THE TWENTY
THE TWENTY: A BOOK DESIGNED TO HELP YOU DISCOVER A LOVE FOR YOUR LIFETIME
WWW.THETWENTYBOOK.COM
FOR ALL WHO COME TO THIS HAPPY PLACE. WELCOME!
–WALT DISNEY

CH.1

You have heard the phrase “This one is for you!” murmured and shouted many times by many people. Rocky shouted the now infamous phrase, “Yo Adrian! I did it!” In many movies and in all kinds of books, we have read or heard the phrase uttered, ‘I’m going to win this one for…’ and then they name that person. In literature we have often related to someone saying something like, ‘and when I do this, then THEY will notice me!’
What all of these people are saying is that they needed motivation from someone else to help them make their dreams come true or to accomplish something that they deemed important.

How about you? Do you need some outside motivation to make your dreams come true? Do you need someone out there to be proud of you in order to put your best foot forward? Do you need someone to stand behind you and root for you in order to make something happen in your life?
Sometimes we all do. Sometimes we need that little extra push to get us going. Sometimes we need someone to believe in us so that we can believe in ourselves again.



CH. 2
Not Any More-

If that was true in your past then we are going to create a new you. We are going to create a YOU that is all that you have ever wanted in you. We are going to create a you that is becoming all that you have ever dreamed of being.
I want you to think, right now, about all of the things you TRULY want in your life.
I want you to KNOW that you are now becoming the person that can accomplish everything you have ever wanted to accomplish.
I want you to know – that you can have, do, be, or become everything you have ever dreamed of.
And I want you to stop right now and understand that we are creating a brand new possibility thinking you that is amazing and I want you to say this out loud …
THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
again
THIS ONE IS FOR ME!

Stop… did you do it? Or did you just think about doing it?

What if I told you, that by doing this one thing it would make all of your dreams come true? Would you do it now?
I just said, we are creating… did you understand that? We are creating a brand new you who will accomplish so much more than the old you. But in that CREATING it requires you to extend yourself, to become more than you were, to do things outside of your old self and your old comfort zone.
Do you get that?
Now lets’ try that again… out loud… verbally…

THIS ONE IS FOR ME!

If you do this then YOU know you are growing already. If you cannot do this… you might as well put this book aside right now because we are creating a new you and you need to extend yourself way beyond where you were.

You are reading this book and buying courses and investing in yourself because you want more out of life. You are looking for that special secret that will change your circumstances. That secret is changing the you that you are, into the you that will bring you to all of your dreams.

You don’t live life as it is, you life life as you are. –Les Brown




CH. 3

A NEW YOU-

Author and speaker Kevin Bracy’s motto is “Brace Yourself” and that is what I want you to do as you read this chapter. Brace yourself for a new you. Brace yourself for major changes coming your way. Brace yourself so that you will be open to what you will need to do, what you must do, what you should do in order to make this change a reality for your life.
And now I want you to know that you motto is simple. This motto will change your life. This motto is designed to make your dreams come true. Now say it, internalize it, make it your reality because it’s truth. Say this –
THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
Say it every day, ten times a day, one hundred times a day until you understand that everything you do is for YOU!
When you are confused, uncertain, lost, afraid, take on this personal responsibility to make your life better by saying.. I can do this because THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
When you start to think, I can’t do this, ask yourself every time, if this is for me, what do I really want?





Have you asked yourself this before? Have you ever set down and asked yourself, ‘what do I really want?’
You are reading this because you want to know, can you learn something from this that will teach you how to get something that you currently do not have. Will this teach me something I do not already know so that I can have, do, be or become something that I really want.
So of course, our first question becomes, do you know what you want to have, do, be or become?


CH. 4

A Goal-

Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile dream or goal. – Steve Sapato

You see, very few of us understand our need to set goals in order to achieve great results.
Would you like to be happier, healthier, have better relationships and or make more money than you are today?
Did you answer yes to any one or maybe even all of those?
What would you be willing to do that will lead to all of the results you are wanting?

Authors and speakers Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Mark McCormick and yes, me, Steve Sapato all use a Harvard Study that was conducted between 1979 and 1989. The graduates of the Harvard MBA program were asked how many of them had clear written goals and had made a plan to accomplish them.
Only three percent (3%) of the graduates had written goals and plans. Thirteen percent (13%) had goals but not in writing, eighty four percent (84%) had no specific goals other than graduating and enjoying their summer.
Ten years later those same people were interviewed and it was found that the thirteen percent (13%) who had goals that were not written down were earning, on average, twice as much as the eighty four percent (84%) who had no goals. But most surprising is that they found that the three percent (3%) who had clear written goals were earning, on average, ten times (10X) as much as the other ninety seven percent (97%) combined!
They also learned that the three percent (3%) were, on average, happier, healthier and had experienced longer lasting relationships.
I ask you again, would you like to be happier, healthier, have better relationships and/or make more money than you are today? Are you willing to take the steps that will help you accomplish that?





CH. 5
Stopping the Don’ts

How are you living your life right now? Because what I am about to tell you WILL change your life.
Are you pro-active or are you re-active? You are reading this because you want life to be better. How much are you willing to do to make that happen?
We all understand self-talk. Well, let me clarify, if you are reading this you have a basic knowledge about self talk. How your own self talk can help you or hinder you. How your success comes from your image of yourself. And of course, how much money you have is reflected in how you think about money.
I will make this much simpler. Stop saying No and Don’t!
Right now, I don’t want you to think of an elephant!
The first thing you thought of was an elephant. If you are REALLY good, your immediate thought process replaced the image of an elephant with something else… a rabbit, a cheetah, whatever it is you might be thinking of right now. BUT… the first thing you thought of was… ta-da! An elephant. But why? My statement was, DON’T think of an elephant.
And you wonder why you can’t lose weight. Sheesh!





Our self talk has never been self Taught! Why is it when we go on diets, weight loss programs that most of us have cravings for many of the things we CAN’T have?
The reason is when I go on a diet I keep telling myself all of the things I cannot have. Maybe not talking out loud but certainly my inner self-talk is all about “ if you are going to lose weight you can’t have ice cream!” Or you can’t have apple pie or baked potatoes or …
We fill our minds with what we CAN’T have. And when we tell our minds Don’t, Can’t, Not our minds do not comprehend those words.
Don’t think of an elephant made you think of an elephant therefore don’t have apple pie makes you want apple pie. You can’t have ice cream makes your mind crave ice cream. All your mind hears are the words… apple pie or ice cream.
So what do you do about it? You have to reprogram yourself to replace the undesirable with the desired result.
A recent commercial was good at this. They were talking about weight loss and were saying, you want to see yourself as slim, attractive and healthy… and they didn’t push, you want to lose weight? Shave off the inches? Get rid of those ugly pounds?
Now we have to help you figure out what you really want and how you need to word your requests in order to achieve it.
As we talk about success we have already discussed how your success is started by you writing down your goals. Change your goals in your mind, on your paper, in your self talk.
Instead of writing I am going to lose twenty pounds, write down what you will weigh when you are where you want to be. That means, when I am starting my NEW ME program, I won’t write down I am going to lose 20 lbs, but that I weigh 215 lbs and I am so proud of myself when I look in the mirror every morning.
Many of us write down our goals like we are sacrificing to achieve them.
When we were young we said “one day I hope I will be able to save $10,000 a year” and all of the statistics say that the average American has less than $10,000 saved by age 50! So that plan obviously isn’t working. Why not change your thinking, now you can say “I save $10 per day and put it into my wealth plan.”
Now let’s find out what you really want and what you are willing to work toward?
STOP!!!

Go find a tablet right now and start writing down your wants and needs for the next ten years.
STOP!
I said go NOW! Come back when you have at least twenty things you want to have, do, be or become written down on your paper!





CH. 6
This One Is For Me

I hope you did that because THAT is what this chapter is all about. You achieving your dreams and your happiness. Your new you.
If you did that incredibly important step then you are on your way to your incredible journey. You will find that your list will grow as you find out that doing this helped you to achieve your “bucket list”. And you will discover that you have opened up your imagination that will not settle for anything ever again. You have started your incredible journey toward your success.
Ask yourself this question… how do you want to be remembered?
Do you remember your grandfather? Grandmother? Great grandfather? Do you think Donald Trump’s children, grandchildren or great grandchildren will have trouble knowing who he was? Or Colonel Sanders from Kentucky Fried Chicken? Or Ray Kroc from McDonalds? Every time one of their relatives enjoys their life they will harken back to that one person who set their goal and went after that dream.
Am I saying that you can have that kind of lifestyle? Nope. But I am saying that you now have the opportunity for that kind of life. Maybe you never had that opportunity before. Maybe you never want that kind of lifestyle. But now, with just what you have learned here, you have opened your mind to new visions, dreams and possibilities.

Are you working on your GOALS? Are you willing to list those goals? Are you willing to put together a plan that will help you achieve those goals?
This book is titled, THIS ONE IS FOR ME! And I hope you are learning that what you want and how to achieve it is up to you.
Do you understand what it will take for you to overcome who you are and to become who you will be?
Do you understand that this will be an amazing struggle within yourself ? That we all want the status quo. We all want to be comfortable. Do you understand that this growth is out of your comfort zone and will require you to change?

You change your life when you change your mind
-Jim Stovall
There are three things that will help you move forward through all of this. In all of my seminars I touch on these three things, because you will be exactly the same tomorrow as you are today except for these three things: the books you read; the information you listen to; and the people you associate with.
You will learn from reading, listening and from other people ideas and energies how you will need to proceed in your life. And all of these things will help you to grow so that you will learn what you will need to do and what plan you will want to follow.




Have you ever tried to do something that you have never done before? Is it easy? Yes and no, right? Because if there is someone showing you how to do that thing you have never done before it can be easy. That person would be called your mentor. But if you have never done it before and there are no mentors available it is much harder to do.
It’s like putting together that toy at Christmas!
So now take heed to these words…

A purpose is a goal; a plan is the way to get there
-Zachary Sapato
So your next step is the HOW. How will you accomplish your goals? How will you accomplish your destiny?
You will find your how when you have enough reasons. Because the HOW does not matter until you know WHY.


People who know how work for the people who know why.








CH. 6
Take Your Lid Off

Once you start and let your mind experience the freedom of listing all of the things you want to have, do, be or become you will be amazed at how you will feel. Once you choose the things you want in your life you will smile more, laugh more, love more.
When you share those why’s with your significant other or with someone who wants to help you achieve those dreams, your life will change. Your attitude will improve. You will see others change because they will see you change.
Back to the beginning. What was your reason for reading this? What are you looking for? And now, most importantly, what are you willing to do to change your life?
Remember this: SNIOP
It can destroy your dreams.
SNIOP – Susceptible to the Negative Input of Other People.
You and I are all susceptible to the negative brought into our lives. I will guarantee you one thing, as soon as you start this journey, there will be people in your life; friends, family, loved ones, who will try to destroy your dreams. Many of them not on purpose. But you have heard it all before; “You can’t do that”… “Why would you want to do that?”, “No one in this family has ever…”, “Why can’t you just be happy with where you are and what you have?” “I miss the old you”.
Yet, maybe all of this is NEW to you? Have you ever heard of the trained flea circus?
How do you train a flea you ask? Simple. You put fleas in a bottle with a cap and as you watch, the fleas will bounce up and into that lid over and over again until one day you will notice that the fleas are no longer hitting the cap. And then soon you can even take the cap off and they won’t ever jump out again. Why? They have been trained by experience not to jump that high ever again.
Many of us have been trained in a similar manner. When you were a child you had great expectations. There was nothing you couldn’t do. So what happened to that belief?
We were trained by our education system where our lid was. We were taught by schooling how high we might jump. I had a step son in junior high school who loved to draw. We encouraged him because, well, frankly, if I had been Picasso’s Dad I would have thought the kid had no talent at all but look where Picasso is at? So, who am I to judge?
But my son had a teacher who did. And one day he came home all upset and told us his teacher had told him he was not very good at art and probably should not pursue it as a career. He really never drew anything ever again.
We have all had teachers, friends, relatives or someone who didn’t mean to crush our dreams but have said something similar to us.




The message from God is that you are worthy. Worthy of all you can discover. Worthy of all you want. Worthy of dreaming, achieving and accomplishing. Worthy of teaching others that they are worthy.
Because the truth is you CAN accomplish your dreams. You CAN enjoy a better life. You CAN become all you want to be.
THIS ONE IS FOR ME! Should be your motto from now on! Say it again loud, clear and proud.. THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
You can create the life you have always dreamed of. You have the power.
And if you ever see me at an airport or seminar please feel comfortable walking up to me and saying… Steve, THIS ONE IS FOR ME! And you will see me smile and we will laugh and we will both know that you are on your own journey to success.











Steve Sapato has been about the business of changing people’s lives for over twenty years. He is a professional speaker, humorist and author celebrating relationships and love.
www.stevesapato.com
www.thetwentybook.com
www.facebook.com/stevesapato
twitter: @stevesapato
@greatmanagers





THIS ONE IS FOR ME!
A journey to your success
Written by Stephen Sapato,
Atlanta, GA



Excerpted from





A MASSIVE DOSE OF MOTIVATION
© 2002 Stephen Sapato
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission is strictly prohibited.