Love, Lust and Puppy Love~ what's the difference~

I recently posted on Facebook how it doesn't matter whether you are in love for two days or twenty years, whether you call is lust or love. What matters is that it feels so amazing that you are open to falling again! I had several people ask me the difference between Love and Lust and then I always insert "Puppy Love" into this conversation because so many people tell the young people that it's not a serious love that it's only puppy love. And yet, there are more teen suicides and violence because of unrequited love than for adults. So is it real love? Obviously it must be. Is it TRUE love, I would say no because true love should never be anything but giving and loving and happiness driven. And 'puppy love' is seldom understanding or giving but typically mostly selfish. When I recommend to people that they go have a great time I am reminded of all of the songs of the past that talk about "love the one you're with" or "just love somebody". Indicating anyone will do! and while on some level I might agree overall those kinds of things are not about love but mostly about sex. So what is the difference between love and lust? My explanation is typically, Love lasts longer while lust is much more superficial. Here's the catch. It isn't when you are going through it. Love and lust feel the same when you are experiencing them. As I interviewed people I had so many people say, "Looking back I now understand what I felt was lust." But many will still deny lust and swear it was love even though they are not feeling that same way towards that partner that they loved then. Lust can be so short and then we understand it is lust because our feelings are gone almost immediately. But for many, lust hangs on to them. So how can we tell the difference between love and lust? Well, lets start of by my reminding you that in my book, The Twenty, I describe how a good relationship might take two or three months to have sex. I know, most of you are screaming WHAT? No way! But all I intend in that is that before we jump into bed that we learn about one another, learn if we are attracted to the person and not the sex. If we laugh and find joy in the relationship and not just in the push and pull of diving into bed. I know for some of you, sex is a very serious endeavor but for others it's pretty routine. A couple dates and our hormones are craving satisfaction. And this IS where love and lust can be separated. If what we are feeling is genuine and loving then when we have sex, make love, fool around, whatever you might call it, we still have a desire moving forward to see that person. And maybe even the next time we see them we won't have sex but completely enjoy the relationship. But way too often, lustful sex leads to that wonderful encounter and the next day you are not even interested in that person. What? Why? How? When what we were feeling seemed so darn genuine. Yes, it is difficult to tell them apart in the beginning. There is another way. Love is about your partner. It always has been and always will be. Lust is all about self. A huge difference for some people but many people can't tell the difference because their idea of LOVE is all about self. Sexually it's all about how I feel and while I care about how my partner feels it is less important than how I feel. Love should always be about your partners happiness. What you can do for them, how you can make them happier by giving them their love language. How you have a need to see them smile, hear them laugh or, sexually, here their pleasure. Now does that help? Lust and Puppy Love are just as intense as falling in Love and maybe even more powerful and almost always short lived. While love can be just as emotionally charged, just as exciting and passionate and will be more fulfilling. Love lingers and keeps a smile on our face for a long long time while lust typically brings a completely different attitude and few smiles after the event. Now that you know the difference I hope you seek to understand love better and that you find that love you have been searching for. Blessings and love Steve Sapato steve@stevesapato.com facebook.com/stevesapato

How important is Learning About Love...

How important is past experience? 

I am asked all the time how I wrote a book about finding a successful relationship when I am not involved in one.
I wrote, "The Twenty, things you need to learn in order to find the love of your life" as well as my management and motivational books. The Twenty is all about LEARNING, please note that in the subtitle. The things you need to learn.

But what I excel at is ideas. Crystallizing your thinking. Taking you from this thought process or this idea and offering you other ideas, other motivations, other concepts or sometimes just helping you clarify the idea you have to make it 'laser focused' I believe is the hot term for it today.

But you see, I have all of this information because I have had ALL of this experience. I have managed businesses from small and medium retail operations to being in management in major corporations.
I have owned companies that were me alone and me with 40 employees. I have worked with leaders who had great ideas but didn't have a clue how to implement them and other wealthy people who had no ideas but great desire to find something.
I win and help you win because I am completely open to everything that happens around me and yes, I have been right and I have been wrong.

I have worked in so many positions and industries it would make your head spin but that is also how I see things with such a different attitude than most other business leaders.

From the time I was a teen getting my first jobs I was stretched. I dipped ice cream for Baskin-Robbins, sold cosmetics at major department store counters, merchandised women's shoes for major retailers. I have turned companies around with simple ideas and improvements and watched my own fail because I couldn't raise enough capital to get to that place where I knew success was waiting.

I have dealt Craps as a River Boat gambler and slung hash at small town diners. Poured drinks at local pubs and sat with corporate CEO's and been invited to share my ideas about business. I have been a purchasing agent at Las Vegas Trade Shows for sporting goods and fashion clothing and International Food Shows for all of the amazing foods and beverages you can imagine.

The reason Mental Prosperity works, the reason my book The Twenty works, is because I am not afraid to ask questions. I interviewed over 2400 people for my book The Twenty to gain insights and information. It is how I deduced that the average attractive female on the dating site Match dot com receives forty times as many original emails as the average male. It is how I understand that because of this fact alone, many women are inundated with offers and cannot respond to all of the men writing and why the men are angry that the women don't respond. A major misinterpretation for communication on dating sights.

The reason Mental Prosperity is the key to your success is because we have filled our minds with information and neglected to use it when we need it. It is cataloged and moved around and through loss of focus we neglect the most important part of what makes us successful. The good things that happen to us.

It's all inside of us. I recently was sharing with someone who said she could not have a successful relationship because of her upbringing and abusive and hurtful treatment by her parents.
I merely asked, when did you move out? She said she was twenty when that happened and I asked how old she was now, sixty-one.
I pointed this out to her, you had twenty years of bad upbringing by your parents and forty one years of bad upbringing by constantly reliving that twenty years by you! Isn't it time you took control of your life and stopped being a victim? Do you want to find love? Do you want to find a partner? and she said yes! Now she is a client and moving forward in her life. No more excuses.

What makes Mental Prosperity work, what makes THE TWENTY work is the same thing that allowed me to write a book to help others discover a successful relationship and life. It is that what is in you is greater than what has happened to you but you have to take control of that force within you.

I believe in you. I believe you can be. And I want to help you to get there.

Want to find the love of your life?

Would you like to find the love of your life?

When most people are asked if they would like to find the love of their life they answer with –yeah, right! We have stopped believing in the love of your life. We want it, we desire it, we even talk about, write about it and make movies about it… but most of us don’t believe it. Why?
We have faced the reality of broken hearts and lost loves and we have become calloused

But what if you could plan for it? What if you could increase your chances from not-a-chance-in-hell to better than 50/50 that the next person you give your heart to will be your one-in-a-million?

It’s all possible if you know the secrets to finding The ONE.

Yup, this is a plug! My new book, The TWENTY (things you need to learn in order to find the love of your life).

Send your lonely and frustrated friends to my website to order it NOW! You will love it!
www.stevesapato.com

Blessings into your search
Steve